£legy

Underground etiquette From kirky in Mental rambles (3 days old)

I loathe travelling on the London underground during rush hour. It’s not so much the crush or the crowds but rather having to have to deal with the constant rudeness. The two examples from this morn… more

No sense of direction From kirky in Mental rambles (23 days old)

My Brother has a built-in SatNav in his head. He can navigate through towns, cities even continents without any worry or doubt. His memory, sense of direction and knowledge of landmarks is phenomenal… more

(Un)Happy Birthday party From kirky in Mental rambles (24 days old)

I took my six-year-old daughter to yet another child’s birthday party on Sunday. Usually these events are an opportunity for the wealthier families to flaunt their wealth and try to outdo each other.… more

Trouser accident From kirky in Mental rambles (25 days old)

No, not what you’re thinking. I sat down on the train on the way home and somehow the armrest slotted into my front pocket. Annoyingly the distance between the seat, my bottom and the armrest was a… more

Wounded From kirky in Mental rambles (26 days old)

I’m trying to watch less television nowadays. Just films and programs that catch my interest on the TV pages of the newspaper. I watched a program on the BBC last night about two young soldiers reco… more

Canada Geese From kirky in Mental rambles (27 days old)

I was surprised to find a flock of about thirty geese wandering around a school car-park on Saturday. They were in a closed off section, but people could still wander through. I was lucky as I was on… more

On the buses From kirky in Mental rambles (30 days old)

My children travel to three different schools every morning. My eldest walks herself to her coach stop. My youngest gets driven by my wife. My middle child gets the bus with me. Initially we consi… more

Little faint From kirky in Mental rambles (31 days old)

I walked my daughter to school today. We met up with one of her friends, her Mum and her dog. The laughed together and whizzed along on their scooters. Everything was fine until about two minutes … more

Memory From kirky in Mental rambles (32 days old)

I was arguing with a friend the other day about who had the worst memory. I contested that mine was worse due to all the blows to the head I’d received in my life. He insisted his was poorer due to … more

Sugar sandwiches From kirky in Mental rambles (33 days old)

Diabetes is a problem in my family. I recently found myself talking about my health and diet in that regard. It’s not too bad. I used to have a sweet tooth when I was younger, but I suspect that i… more

Stones in my mouth From kirky in Mental rambles (34 days old)

About two months ago I visited my local GP because the inside of my cheek had been bleeding. The bleeding had stopped but an obvious lump had formed. I suppose everyone thinks the same thing when lu… more

Bobby From kirky in Mental rambles (37 days old)

My fifteen-year-old daughter’s got a boyfriend. Not one of her ‘I really like him, he’s so dreamy’ boyfriends but a real one. They’ve been seeing each other for several months now and they are obvio… more

Inoculations: Eldest From kirky in Mental rambles (38 days old)

My eldest is nearly 16 and as you’d expect a teenage girl to be nowadays. There were tears and I hate you’s. In her defence, she had to have a total of four injections: Two in one arm, one in her ot… more

Inoculations: Girl From kirky in Mental rambles (38 days old)

My six-year-old girl came in to the nurse’s office after her little brother. My wife took the boy and my little girl sat on my still warm lap. “Will it hurt?” she asked me. “A little.” I replied ho… more

Inoculations: Boy From kirky in Mental rambles (38 days old)

I took my youngest in to the nurse’s office first, while my wife waited outside with the girls. I let him see me have two injections while he sat on my lap and we laughed and joked as I told him I di… more

Inoculations: A trilogy From kirky in Mental rambles (38 days old)

Another penalty of foreign holidays is the dreaded inoculations. For some ridiculous reason the various injections had to be carried out over several days. I didn’t organise it very well as I was ne… more

Dinner with my wife From kirky in Mental rambles (38 days old)

I took my wife out for a meal on Saturday night. There was no particular reason; I just thought we deserved it. My parents looked after our youngest two children and my teenage daughter was allowed … more

First piano lesson From kirky in Mental rambles (39 days old)

My youngest daughter was practically bouncing as we walked the short distance to the piano teacher’s house. We were greeted at the door and escorted into the music room. Looking tiny, she sat down a… more

Jenny the dog walker From kirky in Mental rambles (40 days old)

My entire family is going away in about a month for a foreign holiday. The only problem is that it’ll be the first time that our three-year-old dog can’t come with us. My wife’s mother and brother … more

Piano teacher From kirky in Mental rambles (45 days old)

I made my eldest daughter learn the piano. She wasn’t that interested but I made the classic mistake of forcing my child to do what I regretted not doing. My youngest daughter however really wanted t… more

Meat for breakfast From kirky in Mental rambles (46 days old)

I’m not a particularly big man. 6ft tall and just over 12st but I can’t stand seeing food wasted. I’ll hoover up any leftovers on the children’s plates and eat any food that is just past its ‘sell-by… more

Hypocritic oath From kirky in Mental rambles (47 days old)

My wife is ill, as are my youngest two children. My six-year-old daughter pulled the bedcovers over her head and my five-year-old boy didn’t want to go to school. Considering my constant truanting a… more

Gymnastics vs TV From kirky in Mental rambles (48 days old)

My two smallest children went back to gymnastics after the summer break. My boy does 10am – 11am; my daughter does 12 noon –1pm. It’s annoying that it takes up my entire Saturday morning but the chi… more

Scooter From kirky in Mental rambles (51 days old)

All three of my children go to amazing schools. My only regret is that they all go to different ones and none of them are an easy walk. My eldest walks about a mile to her coach stop. My wife drives … more

Big boy From kirky in Mental rambles (52 days old)

My five-year-old son started year 1 this week. He looked very smart in his new school uniform. Grey trousers, grey shirt, grey socks, black shoes, black blazer and… a pink tie! Weird choice for a … more

Bowling From kirky in Mental rambles (53 days old)

At 10am on Sunday morning, I decide that we should do something as a family. ‘What?’ asks my wife. ‘Why don’t we all go bowling?’ I say. I phone up the nearest bowling alley and book a lane for 11a… more

Running From kirky in Mental rambles (54 days old)

I went for a run in the fields behnd my house this morning. I say ‘run’ but it was a staggered affair. I ran the first quarter and staggered the rest. … more

Love handles From kirky in Mental rambles (55 days old)

I noticed that I now seem to be working on another spare tire. I could live with one but two's ridiculous. So I've given up white bread and started to exercise. … more

Urban golf From kirky in Mental rambles (58 days old)

I met a few old friends yesterday. One couldn’t make it and one had to leave early. The remaining four of us enjoyed several beers in a pub before strolling down to China town for some food. Ignorin… more

Mug tree From kirky in Mental rambles (59 days old)

The first thing I do in the morning is make my wife a coffee and myself a tea. After making sure she’s awake to rouse the children, I take my tea with me while I walk the dog. (My back garden leads… more